People - referred to as enablers - tends to “encourage” individuals to remain static (i.e. discourage “real and lasting” inner change) and primarily deal with needed change by focusing on “correcting” the environment, external or outer sources of conflict and/or difficulties (i.e. normally the symptoms of root causes). Enablers are inclined to either belittle or minimize the individual's effect or impact of contributing actions and behaviors that keeps the problem or issue “alive and kicking”.

The strategy mainly employed by enablers are to explore the situation and circumstances, search for valid excuses or reasons WHY things are the way they are at the present moment and then formulate a problem solution strategy centering around the troubled individual as the actual “innocent” victim of unfair circumstances. Enablers identify the “real” cause of trouble and neutralize it as best they could, frequently just treating the symptoms rather than the roots of the problem.

This attitude (although very sympathetic, quite understanding and generally acceptable) does little to address and solve actual problems, and which only result in “letting the person feel better” and to improve his/her skills of playing a more efficient blaming game (e.g. “not really my fault - it just happens”, it is societies fault, government, circumstances, my father, mother, my spouse, the crime in this country, because people are sinners, uncivilized, uneducated, ….etc.), efficiently redirecting focus from the person's own responsibility and share (i.e. accountability) in solving the problem. Enablers seldom - if ever - confront anyone that they guide or assist; instead enablers actively help an individual to “ignore”, deny or cover up his/her share of the problem and contribution to the sustaining of an unhealthy dynamic system.

In essence enablers are avoiding confrontations, straining of relationships or to rock the boat, especially when such confrontation could be in opposition to the matrix, against society's collective consciousness, general expectations and/or “proven” and well established laws, rules & regulations. Enablers choices and subsequent actions are mainly driven by an underlying attitude of avoiding alienation at all cost, let people feel better regardless the possible long term consequences and are extremely careful for any action that may have a monetary impact on his/her personal survival (i.e. the one who's money you take is the words you speak). Thus, limiting or preventing the much needed process and impact of the BIG squeeze.

An enabler attitude normally evoke the domino effect, which is in sharp contrast to a facilitator attitude which generally evoke the ripple effect.

First PagePrevious PageBack to overviewNext PageLast Page

  • Last modified: 13 September, 2018 @ 5:38pm
  • by Jan Viljoen