attitudes/facilitator.txt · Last modified: 08 May, 2019 @ 8:03am by Jan Viljoen | Approved (version: 1)


A facilitator attitude focus on coping and dealing with the various difficulties of change by means of accountable self-empowerment and psyche management strategies, which would allow an individual to identify, master and sustain a set of balanced life skills and coping mechanisms (i.e. action models).

A facilitator - therefore - implies someone that makes progress and personal growth more efficient and productive - NOT EASIER - by compassionately guiding, assisting, supporting, coaching and helping troubled individuals toward aha-erlebnis moments in order to effectively regain gradual control of their own life and circumstances.

Facilitators compassionately (gently) assist and guide an individual to thinkTo critically question, digest, assimilate and reflect. about his/her problems, possible solutions, various alternatives and options available and HOW s/he could benefit from (i.e. become productive) and/or HOW such options might impact unproductively on his/her present circumstances.

Facilitators DO NOT push nor force any individual (regardless age, colour or gender) into premature action and unwise directionsUnwise directions implies an ignorance or the disregarding of needed individualization and customizations as required by the context of the situation, circumstances or series of events. , just to solve an immediate problem or crisis. A facilitator always respect the individual's inherent freedom and freedom of choice, allowing the individual to safely choose…

  • whether s/he really finds it necessary to change,
  • to initiate a self-empowerment and psyche management project and
  • to accept responsibility for it.

A facilitator attitude apply the following primary guideline, when offering guidance and assistance… It IS the choices that an individual makes and the decisions that s/he acts upon, that really shapes his/her future (i.e. destiny), NOT the opportunities that are currently available to him/her. Choices create opportunities.. not opportunities choices.

When offering guidance, a facilitator use various critical questioning techniques to either coach or assists an individual to…

  • frame the problem or problems that s/he is presently experiencing;
  • distinguish between symptoms and root causes of the problems experience;
  • understand the dynamics, impact and extent of the changes s/he is confronted with;
  • structure dynamic system imbalances and restore equilibrium;
  • address cognitive dissonance that s/he experience;
  • determine the influence of attitudes, perspectives, mindsets and believe systems on present circumstances…

…which could allow the individual to effectively deal or cope with changes, and associated problems, feelings and/or emotions. When using critical questions to facilitate, please exercise extreme care NOT to use the questions as an camouflage accusation, threat, confrontation or judgment; specially when framing a problem or dealing with “symptom-contributors” to the issue. Quite often, accusations or confrontations don't work, because a person's defenses go up like a brick wall of resistance - normally with an unbelievable speed - and his/her “denial techniques” and defense mechanisms starts to operate in the highest possible gear to identify and locate appropriate excuses to either justify his/her present actions and behaviors, defending his/her illusive freedom of choice or to cleanse him-/herself from any blame or contribution in creating this present unbearable circumstances.

Rather adopt a more moderate approach and mainly focus on the problem at hand - not whether the person is right or wrong - when guiding an individual in his/her attempt to formulate answers to critical questions presented to him/her. The goal underlying the answers of critical questions, is to maximize understanding the “duality” dynamics that presently exists between an individual's motivation to deal with changes and actually remaining the same or maintain the present status qua. Thus, to comprehend the umwelt of the individual and/or other people involved.

Also, exercise extreme care to avoid “leading” questions, for example…

  • Avoid:I have noticed that you are aggressive towards your father, what is he doing to make you that angry?
  • Rather rephrase:I sense a lot of anger within you, what do you think can be responsible for such emotions?

We as a human species often find it quite comforting in allying against cruel and unbearable circumstances, and by answering a question (Why are you so angry at your father?) positively… are aiming at evoking sympathy, cooperation and “allied” support; basically a fundamental unhealthy assistance scenario of “the enemy of my enemy, is my friend” rather than to make an “objective” evaluation of the situation and taking stock of what is really happening or taking place.

A facilitator focus on and try to establish alternative futures which will enable an individual to become aware of, “see”, envisions and experience a “better” tomorrow. The clearer defined the “picture of the future”, the better the possibility to motivate an individual to accept responsibility, to initiate and actively become involved in his/her OWN formulated self-empowerment and/or psyche management project. Motivating an individual is a crucial launching platform for efficient guidance; because, when personal “expected gains” and benefits are absent from “the envisioned future”, the only other way to actually “motivate” him/her is by means of force, threats and instilling fear (i.e. using the Power of Brutality).

Applying the Power of Brutality, will yield short term benefits and work excellently for the symptoms of most problems, BUT as soon as “direct involvement” and “policing” stops, the individual will happily resorts back to his/her old familiar and most comfortable patterns of dealing with problems. To actually solve root causes, to obtain long term gains, lasting and “permanent” changes, the Power of Compassion, supported by the Power of Reason and the Power of Sacrifice will frequently yield better, more efficient and longer lasting facilitation outcomes.

Facilitators encourage each individual to read widely about the problem(s) that s/he is experiencing, the development of imbalances, to listen more to the way in which other people solve similar problems and to learn about or explore the various techniques, methods and strategies of dealing with the identified problem or system imbalance. This actions normally provide an individual with an even broader vision, more scope (i.e. higher level of awareness) and a determination (i.e. motivation) to accept responsibility and purposefully work towards solving root causes of the dilemma in which s/he finds him/herself.

When people aren't REALLY convinced to change (i.e. they don't get it), they often make some lukewarm attempts to change things for the better, and they will most likely fail in the end. When changing circumstances doesn't seem beneficial for humans, we are reluctant to change voluntary… by force, yes, BUT really change…. quite unlikely. Thus, the primary responsibility (i.e. purpose) of facilitators are to encourage, motivate and sustain the individual's motivational levels for dealing with change as best s/he could… nothing more, nothing less.

REMEMBER: Apart from motivation, an individual also needs plenty of determination and time to change or to cope with the difficulties (problems) of change efficiently. Apart from critical questions, constant encouragement, supportive motivation and cautious advice a facilitator attitude also implies teaching by example and walk your talk, because we cannot expect anything from anybody, unless we are prepared to do it ourselves (e.g. we cannot expect others to be patient, when we aren't patient ourselves).

The facilitating role of an AltanaESP locksmith is to support and guide individuals going through changes in their lives, to understand what is occurring and NOT to “force” the person in any “unwise” direction that satisfy some or other “external” need or expectation, because true healing comes deep from the inside of an individual him-/herself (i.e. compassionately support the individuals journey through the BIG squeeze quest).

A facilitator attitude that tends to evoke the ripple effect, is in constant conflict or opposition to an enabler attitude that tends to evoke the domino effect.

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  • Last modified: 08 May, 2019 @ 8:03am
  • by Jan Viljoen