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The most important question to ask on the job is not "What am I getting?" The most important question to ask is "What am I becoming?" ~ Jim Rohn

Self-Examination & Assessment

Needed for a balanced self-determination and healthy equilibrium.

Self-examinationThe careful examination of our own actions, behaviours, action models, attitudes and beliefs to determine whether they are still effective or became ineffective. and assessment is an ongoing practice that needs to run in symbiotic synchronicity with any activities and actions taken before, during and after any change project being initiated and conducted with the necessary inner desire, commitment and intrinsic motivation.

It is strongly advised that self-examination and assessment becomes a habit that is conducted often – preferably on a daily basisGuideline: Twice a day… 15 minutes in the morning to reaffirm what needs to be achieved during the day, and 30 minutes at night - before going to bed - to reflect on the day and plan for the following day. – to keep things on track, to sustain control of our life's, steadily achieve our life goals and prevent (or at least limit) possible derailments often accompanying any change management project executed, systematically, purposefully and SMARTly.

Self-examination isn’t something that happens spontaneously. We must deliberately put a self-examination process into motion (i.e. set ourselves on “fire”… so to speak), and keep the fire “burning” by continuously asking and answering critical questions about ourselves, current umwelt and created reality.

In essence - self-examination and assessment - forms the baseline of regular reality checks to sustain a personal and professional path in life characterized by self-development and growth.

Therefore, it is essential that we frequently criticizeCriticism is the analysis and evaluation of works and deeds. More subtly tied to theory; it is interpretive, involving the effort to understand a particular situation from a theoretical perspective and to establish its significance in the process of events. ourselves by means of critical thinking, which consider and pay particular attention to the me…

  1. …others try to make me!
  2. …others perceive me to be!
  3. …I think I am!
  4. …I wish I were!
  5. …I try to project!
  6. …I use to be!
  7. …I really am!

1. The 'me’ others try to make me!

The family/group/tribe (the ‘me’ others try to make me) is the foundation of our emotional and mental health. Our emotional and psychological stability, originate in our family unit and the early social environment we were exposed to. This form an integral part of and encourage us to follow our self-empowerment quest, either in an individualistic or conformist dominated manner. The family/group/tribe influence and satisfy our needs for logic, order and structure within our “world“. As children, we perceive and learn about our physical/external world through all six of our sensesSight, hearing, smell, taste, touching and muscle tone (i.e. kinetics). , which enables us to observe and interpret our environment in a more understandable manner. Mainly because, our six senses provides us with literal perceptions and cause us to take things at face value. We use the family/group/tribe, as a “launching pad” to initiate and establish our interpretations of our external world and provides us with the following strength…

  • A family/community/roots/collective identity and foundation for exploring and interpreting the world around us with confidence.
  • Bonding with and belonging to a group, provide us with survival opportunities, security and self-worth.
  • A customary acceptable value structure and a code of conduct, which serve as a basis for interactions with others to build social relations and establish group/team cooperation, which makes us feel loved and acceptable.
  • Group” support and loyalty, that provides us with a sense of safety and means to overcome the adversities of life.
  • Connection to and an understanding of the physical world in which we operate.

1.1. Derailers

However, when the family/group/tribe monopolize our philosophy of life and our choices (i.e. GPS). Then majority of our actions are primarily motivated by…

  • A fear of endangering our physical survival in the world, and the frantic creation of a delusional comfort zone to “secure” ourselves against all kinds of possible misfortunes.
  • A tendency to control and manipulate our immediate environment, at all cost (even when we have to sacrifice our code of ethics) to sustain and protect our physical needs.
  • Fears of abandonment and/or rejection by the group (family, friends, community, colleagues) that we regard as important in our lives.
  • Fears to receive less than someone else, in terms of the riches that the physical and materialistic world has to offer us.

1.2. Guiding questions

When you suspect or feel that a possible unhealthy perspective – in terms of family/group/tribe influences – might exist and it makes you miserable, results in helplessness, frustrations and a feeling that you are loosing control, you could restore a balanced point of view by self-examination through reflection and seeking answers to the following question…

  • What belief patterns did you inherit from your family/group/tribe (or any other significant group)? Are such believe patterns still applicable today and does it have any significance for our modern society? Does it serve you and the present context in which you operate and function?
  • Which of those belief patterns – that still have authority in your thinking – can you acknowledge or is no longer valid in your context? Or perhaps needs to be adapted, tweaked or changed?
  • What superstitious-assumptionsFor example… sex makes or brakes a marriage, adolescent children are rebellious and a menace, people are born devoted sinners, 13 is an unlucky number, a black cat bring bad luck, ..etc. do you have? Which have more authority over you, than your reasoning ability and common sense?
  • Do you have a personal code of honour (i.e. ethics or GPS) or do you merely adhere to others people’s code of honour as you deemed fit for the moment, or feel it could be to your own advantage? When you have a personal code of honour, what is it?
  • Have you ever compromise your sense of honour? If so, have you taken steps to restoreIn others words RESTORE you honour, not justifying it to yourself and others. it?
  • Do you have any unfinished business with your family? If so, identify and list the reason(s) that prevent you from healing the relationship(s).
  • List the many blessings you feel and experience, that came and is still originating from your family.
  • When you are now raising a family of your own, list the qualities that you would like your children to learn from you.
  • What family/group/tribe traditions and rituals do you continue for yourself and your family? And why?
  • Identify the family/group/tribe characteristics within yourself that you would like to strengthen and develop, or to reduce the negative impact of those aspects that handicaps your spiritual growth (i.e. self-actualizationThe achievement of our full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity and a balanced grasp of the real world. and self-determination).
  • What example would you like to set in your actions for others to follow (i.e. your intended legacy and reputation)?

When seeking answers on the above questions, be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep into your own mind, do not rely on the impressions and opinions of other people (especially so called experts), they can only provide you with guidance, NOT any answers. You are your own best expert and problem solver! Also keep in mind, that such a self-exploration quest is awfully lonely, sometimes scary and requires plenty of self-discipline, guts and lots of self-determination.

2. The ‘me’ others perceive me to be!

Our relationships (the ‘me’ that others perceive me to be) deals in essence with our partnershipsSocial interactions, personal and professional relationships. in life. Round about the age of six we start interacting with others – more independently from our parents/siblings – and outside the immediate family circle. Through these initial interactions we begin to individualize, form relationships and explore our power of choice. This is when we start to shift our focus from the family/group/tribe authority to discover and explore other relationships that might meet our personal, emotional and physical needs. This aspect is based on our need for relationships with other people, and a need to independently control the dynamics of our physical environment to some extent. In this respect we tend to focus and emphasize symbols of “power“, such as – for example – positions of authority, the influence exerted by other people, celebrities, qualifications, status symbols, money, material possessions and the ability to consume.

Our mindset and actions allow us to generate or establish a sense of personal identity and self-protective psychological boundaries. We continually assess our personal strengths in regards to the external world and it’s seductive forces and manipulations – e.g. sex, money, addictions and/or other people – while attempting to sustain a mental balance and psyche equilibrium that allows us to efficiently and harmoniously interact with our environment and other people.

When exploring and mastering the relationship/interacting aspects of life, it enable us to establish the following strengths…

  • The ability and stamina to survive and prosper on this planet. Physically and materialistically (i.e. currently having the necessary finances to do so).
  • To acquire independence and self-sufficiency.
  • Being able to defend and protect oneself (i.e. refined and tweak the many variations of the “fight and flight” mechanism).
  • A willingness, confidence and ability to take risks.
  • The resilience to recover from losses (e.g. family members, partners, property, career, finances).
  • The inclination to rebel against unacceptable, manipulative and harmful influences and “forces“.
  • To re-thing and re-establish our life with regards to our circumstances and in synchronicity with our present umwelt.
  • Personal and professional decision-making abilities and specialties.

2.1. Derailers

However, when unhealthy relations dominates the manner in which we think about ourselves, and it forms attachments that define our self-worth, then we become “motivated” or “driven” by fears of…

  • losing control.
  • being controlled by other people.
  • being dominated and controlled by circumstances, events, authorities and certain conditions such as addictions.
  • betrayals.
  • losing your prosperity and security, especially in a financial sense.
  • abandonment by significant others (e.g. spouse, partner, colleagues, peer group).
  • becoming less acceptable (e.g. becoming poor, gaining weight, becoming old, losing virility, unacceptable appearance, regarded as backwards, stagnated, …etc.)

2.2. Guiding questions

When you suspect or feel that a possible unhealthy perspective – in terms of relationship influences – exist and makes your life a misery or could result in abandonment, you may restore a balanced point of view by self-examination through reflections and seeking answers to the following questions…

  • How do you define success, creativity and wealth? Give reasons for your particular point of view. Do you consider yourself as a successful, creative and/or a wealthy person? Do you follow through on your successes, creative ideas and to sustain your wealth?
  • How often do you direct your relationships into negative paths of self-expression? Do you rationalize, exaggerate or fabricate “facts” to support your point of view?
  • Are you comfortable with who and what you are? If not, are you able to identify and work towards healing (restoring) such imbalances? Do you use and exploit other people for your own benefit, or have you felt used? Are you strong enough to honour you own personal code of ethics and respect your own psychological and relationship boundaries (i.e. the setting of and sticking to minimum standards).
  • Do you keep your word? What is the influence of you personal code of honour on others? The influence of your ethics? Do you negotiate or adapt your ethics depending on circumstances and/or what other people expect or that you think they might expect?
  • Do you have an impression of God as a force (divinity) that exerts justice in your life?
  • Are you a controlling person? Do you engage in power plays in your relationships? Are you able to see yourself clearly in circumstances related to power and money? Are you intimidated in your choices by power and authority?
  • Does money (i.e. riches not wealth) have authority over you? Do you make compromises that violate your inner self for the sake of financial security?
  • How often do survival fears dictate your choices?
  • Are you strong enough to master (manage) your fears concerning finances and physical survival or do they control you, your choices and your actions?
  • What goals do you have for yourself that you have yet to pursue? What stand in your way to act upon those goals?
  • Are you prepared to actively work on establishing and sustaining relationships with others, or do you throw money (e.g. courses, workshops, therapies, larger house, more telephones, another TV, ..etc) at the problem in order to solve it?

When seeking answers on the above questions, be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep into your own mind, do not rely on the impressions and opinions of other people (especially so called experts), they can only provide you with guidance, NOT any answers. You are your own best expert and problem solver! Also keep in mind, that such a self-exploration quest is awfully lonely, sometimes scary and requires plenty of self-discipline, guts and lots of self-determination.

3. The ‘me’ I think I am!

Personal Power (the ‘me’ I think I am) becomes very dominate in our life’s during puberty and adolescence. It assist us further in our process of individualization and to establishing a significant SELF and a personality separated from our inherent (family/group/tribe]]) identity. Personal power contributes to the development of a inner sustainable self-image and self-esteem, in relation to our self-worth in the external world.

Where as the family/group/tribe (the ‘me’ others try to make me) and relationships (the ‘me’ others perceive me to be) are primarily concerned with how we relate to our external environment and others around us, the focus of personal power (the ‘me’ I think I am), is largely internalized, when we relate to – in terms of how – we understand ourselves.

This enable us to establish and maintain the capability to “stand up” as individuals and provide us with the following strengths…

  • Establishing self-esteem.
  • Developing self-respect.
  • Acquiring self-discipline.
  • Refine or tweak our self-worth.
  • Fuel our ambition and expectations.
  • An ability to handle obstacles or a crisis.
  • The courage to take risks, expand personal horizons and venture into the unknown, physically, mentally and/or emotionally.
  • Sustain our personal ethics and code of honour.
  • Provide us with a strength of character.
  • Allow us to establish, build and sustain a reputation.

3.1. Derailers

However, when personal power dominates the manner in which we understand ourselves and – this egotistical & narcissistic point of view – forms the very foundation of our self-image, then we frequently become “motivated” or “driven” by the following…

  • Fears of rejection for what and who we are. Thus, being rejected as a unique and valued individual.
  • Actively avoiding criticism of our actions.
  • Inclination to blame our misfortunes on others and/or circumstances.
  • Fear for being regarded as foolish, impractical, unrealistic, unsophisticated, stupid and/or illiterate.
  • Fear for failing to meet our responsibilities and obligations, often regarded by others as extremely important.
  • Fears regarding our physical appearances (e.g. fear of obesity, baldness, wrinkles, cellulite, too thin, too fat, too short, too long, being flabby or aging).
  • Fear of being vulnerable and that others will discover our inner most secrets, and use it against or to manipulate us (i.e. inability to trust others).

3.2. Guiding questions

When you suspect or feel that a possible unhealthy perspective – in terms of personal power – exists, and it makes your life unbearable or you are gradually loosing your own identity, you could restore a balanced point of view by self-examination through reflections and seeking answers to the following questions…

  • Do you like yourself? If not, what don’t you like about yourself, and why? If you like yourself, what do you like about yourself and why? Are you actively working to change the things that you dislike about yourself, and nourish what you like about yourself?
  • How do you define honesty? Provide reasons for your particular point of view. Are you honest? Do you sometimes misrepresent the truth? If so, why?
  • Are you critical of others? Do you need to either blame and/or attack others as a way of protecting yourself?
  • Are you able to admit it when you are wrong? Are you open to feedback (i.e. criticism) from other people about yourself?
  • Do you need the approval of others? If so, why?
  • Do you consider yourself strong or weak? Are you afraid of taking care of yourself in a physical, mental and spiritual sense? How? Why?
  • Have you ever allowed yourself to be in a relationship with a person you didn’t really love, BUT it seemed better than being alone? If so, why?
  • Do you respect yourself? Can you decide to make changes in your present lifestyle and then stick to your commitment?
  • Are you afraid of responsibility? Or do you feel responsible for everything and everyone? Why?
  • Are you continually wishing your life were different? If so, are you doing anything to change it… what? Or are you overwhelmed by your present circumstances? Why so?
  • Do you feel that you can deal with life independently or do you require support of some kind (other people, artificial substances, organized religion, …etc.) to cope with everyday challenges, pressures and demands?

When seeking answers on the above questions, be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep into your own mind, do not rely on the impressions and opinions of other people (especially so called experts), they can only provide you with guidance, NOT any answers. You are your own best expert and problem solver! Also keep in mind, that such a self-exploration quest is awfully lonely, sometimes scary and requires plenty of self-discipline, guts and lots of self-determination.

4. The ‘me’ I wish I were!

Our emotions (the ‘me’ I wish I were) are the central powerhouse of our energy, determination, courage and perseverance. Thus, the feelings that we experience, is emotional in nature and helps us to propel our emotional development and maturity – which in turn – fuel our perceptions that determine the quality of our lives, MUCH MORE than our mentality or reasoning. This enable us - by choice - to either react or respond to our environment, circumstances and events with a range and variety of emotions such as… love, compassion, hope, despair, hate, envy, resentment and fear. Thus, constantly challenging us to generate – within ourselves – an emotional climate and steadiness from which we can act consciously with the necessary compassion and respect for others.

In order to acquire a balanced emotional climate, we have to embrace love and forgiveness, and release our egocentric need for egotistical driven justice, retribution and retaliation, which often originating from the many FEARS of family/group/tribe influences, the fears stemming from being involved in relationships and our fears deriving from our personal power (i.e. our self-image and self-worth).

The challenges inherent in controlling or managing our emotions (the ‘me’ I wish I were) is quite similar to the challenges of personal power, BUT spiritually and emotionally much more sophisticated and evolved. While personal power focus on our feelings about ourselves – in relation to our physical or external world – our emotional mind or perceptions, focuses on our feelings with regards to our internal world (emotional response to our own thoughts, ideas, attitudes, inspirations, expectations and emotional needs) that is essential in developing, forming and maintaining healthy relationships with other people and the physical/materialistic world around us.

When we are able to manage and understand our own emotions and feelings, it provide us with the following strengths…

  • To love thy neighbour as yourself.
  • To be able to forgive and become less judgmental.
  • To become considerate and act with compassion.
  • To be dedicated and devoted to others.
  • Have dreams, hopes and inspirations.
  • Trusting others, accept and tolerate a variety of perceptions, views and ideas.
  • Accept and appreciate the many diversities of the human race.

4.1. Derailers

However, when toxic emotions - i.e. the supression of nourishing emotions - dominates the manner in which we feel, think and reason about our purpose on this planet and the meaning of our life's, then we become “motivated” or “driven” by the following…

  • A fear of being lonely and isolated.
  • The fear of TRUE commitment and devotion (i.e. inability to apply the authentic power of sacrifice).
  • Fear of being impulsive and “following one’s heart“, thus deliberately oppress all feelings and dealing with only the facts (the observable reality) of the matter.
  • Fear of being unable to protect oneself emotionally. Thus, never acknowledge unacceptable feelings, firstly to yourself nor to others.
  • A fear for emotional weakness, betrayal and being vulnerable.
  • Unmanageable feelings and emotions that could give rise to jealousy, bitterness, anger, hatred and resentment. Thus, developing “society” masks and keep them firmly in place at all times.
  • An inability to forgive yourself AND others.

4.2. Guiding questions

When you suspect that a possible unhealthy perspective – in terms of your emotions and feelings – exists that creates an emotional climate that often result in unexplainable anxieties, stresses, depressions and/or inner turmoil, you could restore a balanced emotional stance by self-examination through reflections and seeking answers to the following questions…

  • What emotional memories (i.e. psyche wounds) do you still need to understand, heal and come to terms with?
  • What relationships in your life require healing and do you feel like doing something about it? When yes, why? …and what? If not, why?
  • Do you ever use your psyche wounds to control and manipulate people or situations? If, so describe them?
  • Have you ever allow yourself to be controlled by the psyche wounds of another person? What are your feelings about letting it happen again? What steps are you prepared to take, to prevent yourself from being controlled in that manner again?
  • What fears do you have about becoming emotionally healthy and mature?
  • Do you associate emotional health and balance with no longer needing an intimate relationship?
  • What is your understanding of compassion, forgiveness and love? Give reasons for your particular points of view.
  • Who are the people you have yet to forgive, and what prevents you from letting go of the pain you associate with them?
  • What have you done that needs forgiving? List the people affected by it.
  • What is your understanding of a healthy, intimate relationship? Are you willing to release the use of your present psyche wounds in order to open yourself to such a relationship?
  • Does it often seems, that you are the only person that experience emotional discomfort? If so, why?

When seeking answers on the above questions, be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep into your own mind, do not rely on the impressions and opinions of other people (especially so called experts), they can only provide you with guidance, NOT any answers. You are your own best expert and problem solver! Also keep in mind, that such a self-exploration quest is awfully lonely, sometimes scary and requires plenty of self-discipline, guts and lots of self-determination.

5. The ‘me’ I try to project!

Willpower (the ‘me’ I try to project) manifest in the many emotional and mental struggles when we attempt to first understand and then learn about the dynamics of the power of choice as evident in the freedom of choice and individual responsibility within group accountability. Learning and managing the power of choice is a slow and painful maturation process of our will. Starting with the idea that everyone and everything around us has authority over me, right up to the perception that you and you alone have authority over yourself. Till you finally realize that true authority actually comes from willfully aligning yourself (and your will) to the will of our Divine Creator.

This enable us to responsibly manage and understand our own personal needs, wants and expectations, which provide us with the following strengths…

  • A faith an in Almighty Creator, ourselves and other people.
  • An acceptance and submission to a divine plan.
  • Self-knowledge and an ability to grasp our relatedness to others, our environment and the world we are living in.
  • Personal authority, by means of compassionate reasoning and a reluctance to exercise the power of brutality (i.e. not forcing or bullying others into submission).
  • Making decision - and no matter what - to keep our promises to ourselves and other people.

5.1. Derailers

However, when willpower dominates the manner in which we solve problems and treat others around us, then we become “motivated” or “driven” by the following…

  • An inability to deal with and being immobilized by our fears originating from family/group/tribe influences, fears fueled by our relationships, personal power and emotions.
  • A fear of having no power, authority, control and/or choice within our own lives… first within our family/group, then within our personal and professional relationships.
  • A fear of having no authority within ourselves and being out of control, when it comes to our actions regarding addictive substances such as… tobacco, money, sex, power and status.
  • An inability to manage our own emotional well-being, dealing with stresses and the emotions and feelings of others.
  • Fearing the will and wrath of our Creator and a reluctance to align our power of personal choice to the will of the Creator. This, remains one of the major obstacles to establish and sustain a balanced symbiosis, a harmonious environmental fit and umwelt equilibrium.

5.2. Guiding questions

When you suspect that a possible unhealthy balance exists between the will of our Creator, your own will and the will of others, a balanced point of view could be restored through self-examination, reflections and seeking answers to the following questions…

  • What is your definition of being “strong-willed“? Give reasons for your particular point of view.
  • Who are the people, and what kind of events in your life have control over your willpower, and why?
  • Do you seek to control others? If so, who are they and why do you need to control them?
  • Are you able to express yourself honestly and openly, when needed to? If not, why not?
  • Are you able to sense when you are receiving guidance to act upon? If so, when and under which circumstances?
  • Do you accept and trust guidance that has no “proof” of the outcome attached to it? If yes, why? When no, why?
  • What reservations and fears do you have associated with Divine guidance?
  • Do you pray for assistance and guidance with your personal plans, or do you truly belief with authentic conviction “I am doing what God directs me to do!“ If so, why?
  • What makes you lose control of your own willpower and self-discipline?
  • Do you bargain with yourself in situations in which you know you need to change, BUT continually postpone taking action? If so, identify those situations and your reason(s) for not wanting to act?
  • When confronted with a problem, obstacle, issue or difficult situation, do you exercise common sense and honestly & openly do what needs to be done? Why? Or do you approach a problem and resolve the conflict with your own hidden agenda in mind? Why?

When seeking answers on the above questions, be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep into your own mind, do not rely on the impressions and opinions of other people (especially so called experts), they can only provide you with guidance, NOT any answers. You are your own best expert and problem solver! Also keep in mind, that such a self-exploration quest is awfully lonely, sometimes scary and requires plenty of self-discipline, guts and lots of self-determination.

6. The ‘me’ I use to be!

The power of the mind (the ‘me’ I used to be) involves our mental and reasoning abilities (i.e. critical thinking), as well as our psychological skills (i.e. self-examination capabilities) at evaluating our present believes, perceptions and attitudes. The major obstacleFor us frequently subjected to modern society indoctrinations & dogmas. is to open our minds in order to retrieve our true power and an ability to recognize “artificial” and “false truths” (i.e. a lack of common sense). Thus, learning to act (and trust) our internal direction in order to discriminate between thoughts motivated by inner strengths and those thoughts motivated by fear, illusions and delusions.

In doing so we are enabled to develop a level of emotional maturity (in more popular terms, known as EQ ⇒ Emotional Intelligence) as a responsible combination of what we know, what we believe, what we value and what we perceive the truth. An accountable and unique combination of the fears, the facts, personal experiences and memories that are constantly active in our day to day life’s. The lessons that we learn and the knowledge that we gain in this manner, leads or directs us to inner wisdom, a wisdom that expose us to a better understanding of the many intriguingly complexities of the world and environment that we operate in.

This enable us to manage and understand the world, our place and purpose in relation to the many complexities we are confronted with everyday (i.e. understanding the concept of unity). This provide us with the following strengths…

  • Intellectual skills, psychological abilities and the competency to efficiently deals with life’s many up’s, down’s and challenges.
  • The ability to evaluate conscious and unconscious insights, and act on them.
  • To be inspired and “see” beyond the limitation of our immediate circumstances and reality horizon.
  • Generating acts of initiative, creativity, improvisation and intuitive reasoning.

The above can also be regarded as the key attributes of emotional intelligence (EQ).

6.1. Derailers

However, when the power of the mind dominates the manner in which we structure our thoughts and take action, then we become “motivated” or “driven” by the following…

  • An unwillingness to look within and do “excavations” to understand our fears as sourcing from family/group/tribe influences, stemming from our relationships, resulting from of our personal power, with regards to our emotions, fueled by our willpower and to actually do something about it. Other, than playing the blaming game of course.
  • A fear for the truth (as we experience it), because our own reasoning capabilities are clouded by plenty of events and knowledge of the external world, is suffocated by unfiltered environmental noise and change blindness.
  • A fear for sound, realistic judgment possible through the acts of forgiveness, compassion and love.
  • A fear of relying on internal counsel, guidance, self-discipline and a tendency to unconditionally accept statistical-scientific proven “facts“, external researched and the authority of “experts“ and “specialists”.

6.2. Guiding questions

When you suspect that a possible imbalance exists with regarding to your power of the mind, and you often feel you are unable to make a “correct” judgment of events, maintaining a more balanced perspective could be restored through self-examination, reflections and seeking answers to the following questions…

  • What beliefs do you have that cause you to interpret the actions of others in a negative way?
  • What negative behavioural patters continually surface in your relationship with others?
  • What attitudes and/or views do you have that disempowers you?
  • What beliefs do you continue to accept, that you know are not true?
  • Are you judgmental? If so, what event(s) or relationship(s) tend to bring out that tendency in you?
  • Do you provide yourself with excuses for behaving in negative ways? If so, when and for what reason(s)?
  • Can you recall instances in which you were confronted with a more profound level of the truth - than you were used to hearing - and found the experience intimidating? If so, when and why?
  • What beliefs and attitudes would you like to change in yourself? Are you willing to make a commitment for implementing those changes?
  • Are you comfortable thinking about your life in a “detached” manner? If not, why?
  • Are you frightened of the changes that might occur in your life, should you openly embrace a spiritual lifestyle? If yes, why? If no, why?
  • When your intuition (common sense) “tells” you a different story, from that what the proven facts (intellect) “tells” you, what do you belief and trust the most, you heart or intellect? And why?

When seeking answers on the above questions, be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep into your own mind, do not rely on the impressions and opinions of other people (especially so called experts), they can only provide you with guidance, NOT any answers. You are your own best expert and problem solver! Also keep in mind, that such a self-exploration quest is awfully lonely, sometimes scary and requires plenty of self-discipline, guts and lots of self-determination.

7. The ME I REALLY AM!

Our spiritual body (the ME I REALLY AM) involves our spiritual consciousness and our capacity to allow our spirit (soul) to become an integral part of our lives and guide us through turbulent times. All our challenges in life regarding our self-empowerment (The ‘me’ others try to make me!; The ‘me’ others perceive me to be! & The ‘me’ I think I am!) and psyche management (The ‘me’ I wish I were!; The ‘me’ I try to project! & The ‘me’ I used to be!) quests in its totality, is animated, encouraged, promoted and fueled by our spirituality or spritual-self.

Our spiritual body (The me I really am) gives meaning to our life’s, is a purposeful and with a direct alignment to seek, establish and sustain a fulfilling and intimate relationship with our Divine Creator. Our spirituality enable us to live life compassionately, through kind thoughts, loving actions, a forgiving attitude and acts of faith and prayer (meditations). Our spirituality allows us to understand, trust and honour our transcendence dimension of life on this beautiful planet of ours.

The spiritual dimension allows us to be all that we can be, and provide us with the following strengths…

  • A devoted faith in our Creator and a trust in His divine plan for ME!
  • To accept, acknowledge and recognize the Almighty’s influence, assistance and devotion in our everyday lives.
  • An inner strength and a confidence in a wise and divine guiding force.
  • A quality of trust, that frequently elude human comprehension, because of our modern day tendency to place our trust in illusionary material symbols of power and security.

7.1. Derailers

However, when unbalanced spirituality dominates the manner, in which we think about our relation to our Divine Creator, our choices and actions becomes determined by the following…

  • A fear of our “dark side“.
  • Fear of loosing a connection to God.
  • A fear of spiritual abandonment and isolation.
  • Loosing one’s identity.
  • A fear of loosing one’s connection with life, the world and the people around us.

7.2. Guiding questions

When you suspect a possible imbalanced in your spiritual life, and you often feel you are losing your “sanity“, confidence in life and the future, a more balanced spiritual life could be restored through self-examination, reflections (meditations & prayers) and seeking answers to the following questions…

  • What question have you sought guidance with, during moments of prayer and/or meditation?
  • What answers to these questions would you fear the most?
  • Do you bargain and complain to our Creator, more than you express gratitude for what you now have and still receive each and everyday? Do you tend to pray for specific things, rather than pray in appreciation?
  • Are you devoted to and unconditionally follow a specific spiritual path? If yes, why? If not, do you feel a need to find one? Have you found surrogates to be devoted to? If so, list and evaluate your relationship to them.
  • Do you believe that your God is more authentic, than the God in other religions and spiritual traditions? If so, why? If not, why?
  • Are you waiting for (and praying to) God, to send you clear and unambiguous explanation or answers for your present painful experiences? If so, list those experiences.
  • How would your attitude toward God and life change, when God suddenly decide to answer all your questions? And how would it change, if the answer you receive was “I have no intention of giving you insight into your questions at this point in your life“? What would you be prepared to do then?
  • Have you start and stop a prayer and/or a meditation practice? If so, what are the reasons that you failed to maintain it? When you continue with such practices, do you do it out of shear habit or are you truly sincere, honest and committed to such a practice of prayer and/or meditation?
  • What spiritual truths are you aware of that you do not live by? List them, and the reasons for your reluctance.
  • Are you afraid of a closer spiritual connection to God, because of the changes that it might trigger (initiate) in your life?
  • How do you “communicate” with God, in a physical, financial and materialistic manner (I do and then You do) or in a spiritual-divinity manner (I accept Your guidance and acts accordingly as best I could)? Why do you follow your kind of “communication” preference?

When seeking answers on the above questions, be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep into your own mind, do not rely on the impressions and opinions of other people (especially so called experts), they can only provide you with guidance, NOT any answers. You are your own best expert and problem solver! Also keep in mind, that such a self-exploration quest is awfully lonely, sometimes scary and requires plenty of self-discipline, guts and lots of self-determination.

8. Self-knowledge Manuscript

The primary purpose and ultimate aim of the foregoing exploration questionsThe me others… try to make me; perceive me to be and the me I… think I am; wish I were; try to project; use to be; really am. is to put together a self-knowledge manuscriptThe original copy of a book or article or document before it is either printed or used. to reference when addressing and solving everyday problems, obstacles, facing challenges, when confronted by change and to serve as an authentic and reliable personal and professional GPS. Compiling a self-knowledge manuscript implies formulating answers to the following questions…

  • What is your authentic and true identity?
  • Do you submit a particular organized religion or do you conduct a personal spiritual practice? And why do you?
  • What do you truly believe in?
  • What is your highest values in life?
  • What was the best time of your life?
  • What was the worst thing that ever happened to you?
  • What’s your biggest dream in life?
  • What did you want to be when you were younger?
  • What achievement are you the proudest of?
  • What are your biggest accomplishment?
  • What are your biggest failure?
  • What did you learn about yourself from your past experiences, both your previous successes and failures?
  • What failure still haunts you to this day?
  • What’s one obstacle you’ve had to overcome in your life?
  • What was/is your best relationship?
  • Do you like your job? If not, what would you prefer to do instead?
  • If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
  • What are your favourite hobbies?
  • If money was no object, what would you like to do/accomplish in life?
  • If you could be doing anything, anywhere right now, what and where would it be?
  • What are you thankful for?
  • What do you wish other people could understand better about you?
  • What’s something that no one would guess about you?
  • If you could turn back time and do anything differently, would you? What? & Why?
  • What are you currently doing to improve yourself and your circumstances?
  • What’s the craziest, or most exciting thing you’ve ever done?
  • What do you think about most of the time?
  • What’s the most important thing that you value the highest?
  • How do you handle being in either a bad or good mood?

Incorporating answers of the foregoing self-exploration questions and the self-knowledge manuscript, should at least provide you with a understanding of of how you…

  1. deal with individuality versus conformity.
  2. sustain interactions & relationships.
  3. exercising personal power & assertiveness.
  4. manage emotions, feelings & self-discipline/control.
  5. use your willpower, motivation and apply conative directivity.
  6. utilize your power of the mind, critical thinking, logical reasoning & common sense.
  7. establish and maintain your spiritual self, ethics, values, priorities & character.

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